Thursday, April 11, 2013

NYC It'Sugar Visit & the Truman Loss

Exactly two weeks ago I went to NYC for my Truman Interview.  Below are pics from my adventure to It'Sugar, located in the Upper West side in NYC, with fellow interviewee and new friend, David.  A place filled with unnecessarily large and tempting candy bars, ornate decor, and every decoration detailed to perfection, this place definitely gave off a high energy, neon vibe.  This, you can pretty much see for yourself. 
As for Truman... I am now ready to talk about the results.

So hot!
I would have bought this if it wasn't $23. That is 2pounds of pure Reese's product in my hand. I ended up getting the sweets in my other hand.
You may have seen this pic from an older post. This is Dave and I in front of the Nerd Wall.. How appropriate.
For all you HK obsessed... brace yourselves!!!
This is unfortunately my last blog post with exciting news from my NYC Truman trip (see below for links to my entire journey).  However, I am waiting to see if I will be sent to Washington, D.C. for leadership training. I bet there are adventures just waiting for us to discover together out in Washington, D.C.  I don't doubt it. <3

My purchases for the day.
If you don't read this candy bar, you are no longer a female victim of PMS. Thus, you have no permission for me to use it as an evaaaah. 
If you didn't read the above candy bar, scroll back up and do it.

Truman Results.  After the 7 months working on my Truman application, my baby, I was not selected as one of the winners.  I suppose I am now 50% okay with this fact.  I invested so much and let go of so much, including schooling.  

I am not upset so much that I was not
chosen as a winner, but I am upset because
I was convinced that I was able to win.

I gave 130% and in my interview exceeded even my own expectations.  I could not have done any better, said anything differently, or improved any of my gestures.  I was real. I was Christine, the young business woman.  The saddest part of sharing the results what when I called my dad to tell him I lost.  I wanted him to be so proud to be my papa, especially since he lives far from me right now.  Even if my papa was so proud of me that I made it this far, I felt like I let him down and all the people I represent, women, Latinas, Asians, Ackers, McNair, my university.  I also work so hard because I want to God to be pleased with me.  I have an unnecessary amount of energy for a reason, and that is to serve Him!  

My sadness comes because I wish I had only given 100% and not pushed my schooling to the side.  The Truman judge committee could not have expected anymore from me because I was 3 times the person than the application they had in front of them.  This was because for preparation I literally was sent all over the city talking with people and even interviewing people from around the nation.  I am okay that I wasn't chosen, because this is the second scholarship I didn't win this year.  Failure funtastic times.  I am not okay that I invested 130% and was not chosen.  

My reasoning was that if I won, that 30% lost 
to academics would be worth it because I would be 
the recipient of a $30,000 graduate school scholarship,
summer internship and the coveted leadership training.  

Yes, I have cried almost everyday since last Friday when I was told by my adviser, "No, you didn't win. I'm so sorry Christine.  I had everything ready, ready to take you upstairs to meet the pro-vost and everything." 
My face cheeks are burnt from crying so much
and I am emotionally a bit numb from that
unnecessary extension of emotions.

Ridiculous? A bit.  No, I did not cry today. Yes, I will apply to more scholarships (I need money for graduate school still!).  Yes, I am concerned that I had such a strong conviction that I could win.  No, I am not upset at the judges or the Truman Foundation.  No, I am not upset at God.  Yes, I know I did my best.  Yes, this helped me be a better anti-human trafficking advocate.  

Anyways, I just held Freedom Walk Buffalo last week, and the speaker Anna said she could help me get an internship pretty much anywhere in NYC to help fight human trafficking!  That right there is my internship.  Also, this Friday I find out if I will win the trip to Washington, D.C. for leadership through an essay contest at my university.  I was told by one of the scholarship hosts that I have a good chance.  There is my leadership training right there.  Now, I just need a scholarship to graduate school. So, even if I don't have the Truman, I have things that replaced the perks of a Truman... they may even be better than the perks of the Truman.  

I am Christine.
I am a woman.
I am a daughter of God. 
I am a princess.
I am confused, excited, sad, curious, hard-working, intimidated, confident and purely trying everyday to keep my body a holy and living sacrifice. (Romans 12:1-2)
I am a 110%er.
I am flawed.
I am beauty.
I am Christine.

Getting over myself and bored,

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Journey through my Truman Interview Journey before, during, and after NYC:


  1. Everything happens for a reason, Christine. I know the frustration you are going through and how hurt you feel, especially when you put aside your school work and work so hard for the scholarship. You didn't let us down. In fact, I'm proud that you've made it this far and have the intention of helping so many people. I'm sure they are grateful to you too.

    So you cried, you felt beaten, and at a lost, and these are just feelings because you've been wanting the scholarship so much and that we've expected so much from you. Fret not my dear, stay strong, and keep having faith. I always believe that when a door closes, another door will open. Things may not sail smoothly as we expected it to be, but Do NOT give up trying.

    I trust and know that you've perform exceptionally well during the Truman interview, and despite not being listed, it'll always be an experience you can use in the near future. :D I always believe you'll make it one day. (:

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Thank you for the lovely comment. God bless & stay Be-you-tiful!