My very wise friend once told me... "I tell people- 'Don't put me in a bubble'"...
Sometimes when personalities change, people don't get it because they are not you...
If people are use to always seeing you one way, and some days you are not like that... they don't get it...
They would ask
are you Mad
are you Sad
are you Tired
why are you so Serious
...dude- this is my NORMAL FACE
to me I feel like they were rejecting who I had become...
or I was forced to act a certain way around them because that is how they wanted to see me
Everyone goes through stages.
I use to degrade myself ...
comparing myself to others, and putting myself down
feeling that people would not expect too much of me and people would feel better about themselves that way
Although it was all a joke...
I started to feel like it was true and I questioned myself...
What was I worth?
I knew God was there for me
I began to resent those that would call me the names I had called myself...
and that turned into jealousy... I had never been jealous in my life.
I felt ashamed for feeling this way
I knew God loved me...
but I was not investing time in seeking Him.
Was it my fault I felt alone?
When i cut myself off from friends they thought I was just rejecting them...
Which I disliked. I needed a retreat.
I learned I need to be honest with myself.
Not degrade myself.
Seek out God.
Seek out fellowship with Sisters who are going through the same thing.
So now I tell people... "Don't put me in a bubble."
I say it to others, to myself, out loud.
I am growing in every facet of my being, maturing, learning from life... and I can not do that without having certain aspects of me change.
but it's all part of my life's journey...
My Beyoutiful Hope!
I did this post after being in contact with other girls who felt the same way. So girls- stand up for yourself, find a good support system, be honest with yourself and others. If they only want to see you a certain way, maybe they are not people you are meant to have in your life your entire life. Pray about it.