The Innocence of White

Trumpet/Mermaid One Shoulder Dress | c/o DresseStylist

Okay, I totally love this special occasion formal dress.  I just need a stinkin' place to wear it... outside of my princess fairytale wonder world, that is.  Aside from the fact that it reminds me that I will be single forever, I completely love it!  What is "being single" really? In actuality, I am the bride of the Lord almighty, which is better than any man I will ever (not) find. 

Now, before I share my thoughts for the week, I have to let you know my thought process when I reviewed this film.  It went something like this:  "Wow, Christine... you need to loose 8 pounds, but on the plus side, you look great in white. It's good that's your color of the week, I should make that my color every week.  Oh, I like the trees, I feel like a fairy. Pretty trees. Hahaha, how is it that these photos came out so good that they require no editing? My mom did a great job. I need to be more patient with her. I like white. I'm excited for summer.  I wish I was a careless fairy. I like how I can create my own world through photos.  I love nature.  This dress is gorgeous. Hahaha- I don't look like that in real life."

I love how I think.

White... the color of purity.  One of the things that I cherish most in life is innocence.  Every since I was young I was always captivated by innocence, especially in Matthew 18 when Jesus taught about the importance of being innocent like a child, and having faith like a child.  Matthew 18:3-4 teaches that children hold the key to entering heaven and if we too want to be in heaven we must humble ourselves like children.  Beyond innocence of a child is innocence of the child's mind and body... purity.  Purity is one of the greatest qualities I seek and admire.  In Romans 12:1-2, the apostle Paul writes to the church in Rome, to both the Jews and gentiles, about living in purity:

1Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy,

to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy

and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.

2Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but

be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Then you will be able to test and approve what

God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Paul later goes on to talk about being humble in service and living in love.  I actually painted the above verse on my wall.  

I recently realized that the person I am, the ways I have decided to live out my life, and the problems in the world I would like to change, relate directly to my view on the importance of purity.  I work to help end human trafficking because slavery destroys innocence, especially sex slavery.  I am against abortion because destruction of an innocent human life should not even be an option.  This past week, there was a protest at my school for people that were for abortion.  When I say "for abortion," I mean people that agree with allowing the destruction of a human life that is still in the womb of a woman.  My color for this past week was white because I wanted to wear the color of what I was fighting for.  

The innocence of white with the guidance of Christ's love. 
What is the core of your being, and how do you live that out?


Seeking innocence like a child,
Christine

How selfless exactly?

JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZz louise. 

There are so many problems in the world.

There is a huge difference between selfless and selfish people.  I realized this week how many people put themselves over others.  This is the downfall of globalization, a root of poverty, a problem with lack of respect for life.

Would you drop a hammer on your toe on accident or on a stranger's on purpose?

I was asked this at a conference I went to this weekend.  I learned this through the week.

Am I the only one who would drop the hammer on my own toe? =(

NYC It'Sugar Visit & the Truman Loss

Exactly two weeks ago I went to NYC for my Truman Interview.  Below are pics from my adventure to It'Sugar, located in the Upper West side in NYC, with fellow interviewee and new friend, David.  A place filled with unnecessarily large and tempting candy bars, ornate decor, and every decoration detailed to perfection, this place definitely gave off a high energy, neon vibe.  This, you can pretty much see for yourself. 

As for Truman... I am now ready to talk about the results.

So hot!

I would have bought this if it wasn't $23. That is 2pounds of pure Reese's product in my hand. I ended up getting the sweets in my other hand.

You may have seen this pic from an older post. This is Dave and I in front of the Nerd Wall.. How appropriate.

For all you HK obsessed... brace yourselves!!!

This is unfortunately my last blog post with exciting news from my NYC Truman trip (see below for links to my entire journey).  However, I am waiting to see if I will be sent to Washington, D.C. for leadership training. I bet there are adventures just waiting for us to discover together out in Washington, D.C.  I don't doubt it. <3

My purchases for the day.

If you don't read this candy bar, you are no longer a female victim of PMS. Thus, you have no permission for me to use it as an excuse...like evaaaah. 

If you didn't read the above candy bar, scroll back up and do it.

Truman Results.  After the 7 months working on my Truman application, my baby, I was not selected as one of the winners.  I suppose I am now 50% okay with this fact.  I invested so much and let go of so much, including schooling.  
I am not upset so much that I was not chosen as a winner, but I am upset because I was convinced that I was able to win.
I gave 130% and in my interview exceeded even my own expectations.  I could not have done any better, said anything differently, or improved any of my gestures.  I was real. I was Christine, the young business woman.  The saddest part of sharing the results what when I called my dad to tell him I lost.  I wanted him to be so proud to be my papa, especially since he lives far from me right now.  Even if my papa was so proud of me that I made it this far, I felt like I let him down and all the people I represent, women, Latinas, Asians, Ackers, McNair, my university.  I also work so hard because I want to God to be pleased with me.  I have an unnecessary amount of energy for a reason, and that is to serve Him!  
My sadness comes because I wish I had only given 100% and not pushed my schooling to the side.  The Truman judge committee could not have expected anymore from me because I was 3 times the person than the application they had in front of them.  This was because for preparation I literally was sent all over the city talking with people and even interviewing people from around the nation.  I am okay that I wasn't chosen, because this is the second scholarship I didn't win this year.  Failure funtastic times.  I am not okay that I invested 130% and was not chosen.  
My reasoning was that if I won, that 30% lost  to academics would be worth it because I would be  the recipient of a $30,000 graduate school scholarship, summer internship and the coveted leadership training.  
Yes, I have cried almost everyday since last Friday when I was told by my adviser, "No, you didn't win. I'm so sorry Christine.  I had everything ready, ready to take you upstairs to meet the pro-vost and everything."    My face cheeks are burnt from crying so much and I am emotionally a bit numb from that unnecessary extension of emotions.
Ridiculous? A bit.  No, I did not cry today. Yes, I will apply to more scholarships (I need money for graduate school still!).  Yes, I am concerned that I had such a strong conviction that I could win.  No, I am not upset at the judges or the Truman Foundation.  No, I am not upset at God.  Yes, I know I did my best.  Yes, this helped me be a better anti-human trafficking advocate.  
Anyways, I just held Freedom Walk Buffalo last week, and the speaker Anna said she could help me get an internship pretty much anywhere in NYC to help fight human trafficking!  That right there is my internship.  Also, this Friday I find out if I will win the trip to Washington, D.C. for leadership through an essay contest at my university.  I was told by one of the scholarship hosts that I have a good chance.  There is my leadership training right there.  Now, I just need a scholarship to graduate school. So, even if I don't have the Truman, I have things that replaced the perks of a Truman... they may even be better than the perks of the Truman.  

Whatever. I am Christine. I am a woman. I am a daughter of God.  I am a princess. I am confused, excited, sad, curious, hard-working, intimidated, confident and purely trying everyday to keep my body a holy and living sacrifice. (Romans 12:1-2) I am a 110%er. I am flawed. I am beauty. I am Christine.

Getting over myself and bored, Christine

Journey through my Truman Interview Journey before, during, and after NYC:

Truman Prep | What is Wrong with Being Happy?

Truman Prep | Weekend Before the Interview

Truman Interview | Arrival in NYC

Truman Interview | Day 2 Update

Truman Interview | Day 2 & Truman Dinner

Truman Interview | Day 3 - THE BIG DAY!

Truman Interview | Day 4 - What Truman Taught Me